FUTILITY TO FERTILITY

LARA GARFINKEL With Myself At Gaslight Pharmacy

I know a couple who tried to conceive naturally over a few years before making the decision to try IVF. Their relationship was strong, but their doubt and concerns grew stronger as months went by with continued negative results. I did my best to keep a positive attitude for them as I wished nothing more than this great couple to have a child. 

But soon I could see that my best intentions and enthusiasm may create a chasm. Months passed by until a wonderful time last year when they told me that they had a positive result. That was a year ago and this family of three are keeping well.

Sadly, for one in six couples in our community, having a baby involves more than just wishing for one and wanting one. Some need a little extra help.

Last month The AJFN (Australian Jewish Fertility Network) enquired at the pharmacy where I work whether we could help them with donations for their 50 care packs to send to women in our community struggling with infertility. We had four weeks notice, I had some amazing business partners* with "pregnancy friendly" products and samples, a design on my mind and It all came together beautifully.

*A Special Thank You To- Avène Australia, Benjamin Pinaud. Dr. Hauschka Australia, Melanie Anderson. Dermal Therapy, Shelley Sher.

AJFN Care Pack Design By KMR Beaute aka King M. Rakic

The main premise on which IVF and similar methods were permitted according to Halacha (religious observances and the daily life and conduct) is to ensure the sanctity of the Jewish family. For those couples struggling to achieve their dreams of having a baby, the AJFN is a beacon of hope, offering financial and emotional support and encouraging open and honest conversations about infertility within the Jewish community. AJFN is registered as a Health Promotion Charity with DGR1 status.

No one should ever feel alone on this journey

What began as a hands-on way to meet the needs of one couple who couldn’t afford fertility treatment, has grown over the years into a major forum to raise awareness of the struggles and hardships of infertility and provide support in an open and compassionate environment. 

Gaslight Pharmacy and KMR Beaute are non-denominational. I am not Jewish myself, but I encourage all to visit their website as I have learnt a few things myself about general IVF interpersonal sensitivity for all. Here is an excerpt-

Sensitivity Suggestions

It is very important to note that no two people suffer or react identically to similar situations. The following are only suggestions; be sure to consider each individual and his/her experience and apply what you deem to be most appropriate.

Keep in mind:

1. Do not assume anything; not everyone who does not have a child or has a large gap between children is navigating infertility.
2. If someone reaches out to share his/her story, the best thing one can do is listen.
3. It is most helpful not to recommend a specific doctor, rather if you would like to, give a few options so that the couple/individual can do their own research and find the best fit.

When hosting a meal or get-together, ensure that everyone is made to feel emotionally included:

1. Be aware of the crowd.
2. If there are individuals who are not married or do not have children, make sure that the conversation does not revolve around marriage and kids.
3. Try to engage in conversations in which everyone can be an active participant.

When engaging family members or friends:

1. The best thing that one can do for a friend or family member is be a friend, listen when they speak, and offer a shoulder to cry on if need be.
2. Unless requested, avoid sharing advice or tips on how to increase chances of conception.
3. If a friend or family member does share his/her story with you, try not to bring it up every time you see him/her.

For parents and grandparents of those navigating infertility:

1. Be sensitive to your child/grandchild’s challenge.
2. Asking them when they will give you a grandchild is hurtful and a reminder of their struggle.
3. Do not push your children to share information about their fertility challenges and treatments that they are not comfortable sharing .
4. For those navigating primary infertility – ensure that your children feel special in their own right and no less important to you even though they have not yet given you a grandchild.
5. For some parents/grandparents getting support may enable them to be more present emotionally for their child/grandchild.

At times those struggling with infertility, be it primary, secondary or circumstantial, can become emotionally overwhelmed and may need some distance. It may come across as a personal offense, but it is important to remember that it is not personal. -From AJFN & Yeshtikva

 

LAUREN PLACKS-AJFN Committee Member, Events.

KING M. RAKIC

KMR Beaute-For People, Not For Profit.